Changes in a Life ~ 2

My last post ~ 'It is what it is' I say to myself with a smile .... 2-5-06

Marriage, Affairs & Relationship Discussion Forum ~
My last post ~ 'It is what it is' I say to myself with a smile .... 2-5-06
Coping With Life's Transitions ~
Letting go is a decision ~ 2
Trust ~ 2
Expectations-Boundaries-Accountability & Anger ~ 2
How & When & Why ~ 2
Healing, Forgiveness, Moving on ~ 2
The Sedona Method ~
Toxic & Difficult Relationships -Personality disorders ~ 2
Things to try ~ Things to learn ~ Ways of Looking at Things ~ 2
Metaphysical Points of View ~ 2
Internet relationships ~ 2
Love, Lovers, Friends & Friendship & their Relationships ~ 2
When It's Finally Over ~..OR..~ When it's Over, Finally ! ~ 2
Considerations & Perspectives to stretch your mind ~ 2
The Music ~


You can't manage other people's beliefs. You can only manage the relationship you have with them.

As much as we might like to think we can manage other people's perceptions of us, in reality, all we can manage is our relationship with them. And in order for you to manage that relationship, you need to measure it.  PDPJ

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 From me to you as my last post ~ 2-5-06

As quickly as this project came upon me several months ago, last week, it 'left' just as quickly. As I made some final additions here, all sorts of things 'went wrong' that haven't happened before - - the hmtl coding became bewitched lol, I couldn't control color choice in some threads and other things. I've spent countless hours on these 2 sites with minimal problems, but today, you name it and it was a problem. Clearly, yet another signal that 'this project is over' :)

I felt such a compulsion to do this project and overall,  feel satisfied with what's been accomplished. My feeling is , for the most part, many relationship issues have been addressed that are problematic for most people. As such, with the 'sudden' knowing of being finished, I'm assuming that I've done what needed to be done and will now do some letting go of my own... letting go of this project and moving towards another that I've been wanting to do for several years.

My new adventure will take many months of learning and practice, but it will be so fun for me along the way of accomplishing it.  I will begin upon my return from a February trip 'down south' where I will be visiting a cherished friend. This must be my year for traveling as I've just returned early this January from the South West and now going South next and onto the North at the end of summer/early fall with perhaps a New York trip in between..

While out West, I was in a gallery and admired an expensive painting of 4 Native American women. I have always been very drawn to the naturalness and beauty of the pre Americanized Indian spirit.  As I looked at the painting, it became very symbolic for me. I saw these women with their backs to me while facing into what I saw as 'the future'. The thought of  'the past is the past, don't bring it along with you, walk towards the future' went through my mind as I admired the painting and the posture of resolve in their bodies. I felt the inner strength of these women.

I didn't purchase the painting, but would have loved to have owned it. While walking out to the car, I was handed a package. I opened it and tears welled up as I looked upon the painting, now MY painting. .... yet another symbolic moment for me ~ it seems ,that ,which we are willing to simply admire, not to own/control, will be ours in the end if it's meant to be for us.
The kindness and generosity of the giver was also deeply appreciated.  I thought I was viewing this painting 'in private' and was totally surprised to realize that I had been observed.

I'll share this painting with you and will use it in closing of this site. You'll find it at the very end of this posting.

I've added new articles to just about every category here - look for those dated 2-5-06. 
I've also added 2 new buttons (categories) on the left side.

(I have many more links to add besides the ones already posted here. I'm out of time right now, but I'll add them all by the end of February. There is no sense in not posting them here since I already have them)

I hope that what I've done here has helped you solve some of your problems ...and if not having 'solved' them. has at least given you some insights as to how to identify and solve/resolve them in time to come.

If certain people & situations weren't important to us, relationships & life would be so easy. It's because we value, we love, we want to merge with certain people that it can become difficult and even more difficult when the time comes to say good-bye for all the assorted reasons we have to say good-bye.
Life offers many situations that can cause us to stumble and become confused, however, I've found that certain principals, applied to all situations, never fail when needing answers on how to handle them or for understanding them ~ honesty with and about self, & others, respect of self and others,commitment to/of intent, reliability/dependability, cooperation of people involved.  Without the cooperation of another striving for the same goals, the  goals will usually never be reached. Trying to  force a situation without joint cooperation is futile and unrewarding. MUTUAL teamwork is what works and the lack of any of the qualities I mentioned above will produce relationships fraught with difficulties. Look for/ identify the lacking qualities and you will have put your finger on the root problem(s).

I do believe though, if the connection has been a real one, an honest one, one that improves your soul and your life, then it is never 'totally' gone. Our being in the life of, in the presence of a valued person will have changed us in obvious or subtle ways that will stay with us forever. If the relationship had all the right ingredients to begin with and both people are still living,then the potential for a natural return to this relationship exists at another point in time. These are all good things. These are also uncomfortable things. This is an 'this is the way it is' thing.

Real love, the good and true love, is forever.
If two people really love each other, nothing can keep them apart...

It was what it was and as a result, it is what it is.

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 'Let go of the past and all it's hurts and disappointments and look and move towards the future with courage and excitement.'
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Endings are another way of seeing new beginnings
PDPJ, Sheila, is saying good-bye and letting go  ~ ~ ~
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All of the full versions of music used on these two sites can be found here along with several other pieces that I thought I might use. They are all meaningful to me.

Just4fun, I drew a 12 card Tarot spread upon this sites conclusion.  Here are the results:
Higher Power
Recent Past
Challenges/ Opportunities
Near Future
Long-term Potential
Blocks & Inhibitions

Your Interpretations

Self: The World


Everything in the world is in balance and you participate fully in that.

The card in the Self position reveals aspects of how you perceive yourself right now.

The World in this position symbolizes the energy of the Great Goddess Sofia -- the universal womb from which all manifestation comes forth. This state of consciousness is characterized by a balance between inner life and outer life, where you are no longer alienated from other life forms, great and small. You worked hard through many cycles to achieve such a mystical experience.

Your ego can no longer block the light of awareness that moves through you. According to the Tarot, the spiritual mission of human beings is to mediate the three worlds of universal consciousness, self-consciousness and the collective unconscious. When such epiphanies happen, we experience ourselves in a timeless state of grace where there is no doubt, shame or grief. Such a moment is priceless and worth all the work and waiting. It's the culmination of all your efforts and a harbinger of remarkable potentials.

Situation: Queen of Wands


A persuasive, responsive style induces cooperation and high achievement.

The card that lands in the Situation position refers to social or circumstantial factors which could be affecting your life at this time.

When the Queen of Wands falls in this position, a motherly, take charge force in your environment is managing and organizing all the players. This feminine symbol represents a persuasive, emotionally available style as opposed to more forceful, traditionally masculine methods.

This managerial influence is inducing good behavior by holding a high standard and embodying it, urging everyone to make his or her greatest effort. The Queen of Wands is a zealous worker who brooks no opposition and can overshadow the efforts of others. Even though it is true that this person can be manipulative, she truly inspires people to do their best.

Challenges/ Opportunities: The Fool


Don't allow the judgments of others to inhibit your possibilities.

The card that lands in the Challenges/Opportunities position refers to ways that you can turn obstacles into stepping stones.

When the Fool is in this position, you are challenged to remain balanced and optimistic during a period of uncertainty. Because you are momentarily free of preordained roles or titles, purposely detach yourself from the desire for them. Appreciate a point of view in which all your options are open and you are not limited by predetermined courses of action. Just as everything that exists was once a seed in someone's imagination, your future is a seed in your own. What visions would you use to germinate your future? The Fool's bag of tricks contains many powerful dreams. Open the bag and look at what you might be carrying in the way of seed ideas.

Foundation: Four of Cups


Deep within, you have reasons not to fall back on inertia. Use this inner knowledge to sharpen your attention.

The card in the Foundation position points to influences from your personal history, your roots and background.

The Four of Cups in this position suggests that you have experienced fallow times wherein you were uninspired, listless, and even apathetic. If this is one of those times, you might be tempted to disassociate and entertain yourself with fantasy instead of challenging yourself to keep growing and stay strong.

It's a luxury to have the option of coasting through life. There is a cost, however. Dependency leaves you open to fluctuations outside of your control -- changes you may not be prepared for. If you've expereinced this before, you can prevent yourself from slipping into this powerless position again by recalling your past. Use those memories to ensure that you will not lose track of events as they unfold around you. If you recognize how easily these lapses could happen again, you can take steps to avoid falling into the dependency you used to settle for.

Recent Past: Death


When ties are severed and excess is trimmed, you come to know your essential self.

The card in the Recent Past position refers to events that are just departing, recently influential but now diminishing in power.

When the Death card is in this position, some area of your life has just been severely pruned. You are still recovering from this radical force that sweeps through from time to time and cuts cords, both good and bad. You may feel like a tumbleweed, cut from your roots and cast adrift in the wind. Most likely this has been a beneficial change.

After you get over the shock of your new status, you will realize it's in truth quite freeing. You realize that in the process you suffered no loss of your essential self, while being freed from the fossilized structures you once identified with. In doing so, your perception of who you are evolves.

Higher Power: Judgment


Your ordinary life will undergo powerful new direction in which you are returned to your deepest self.

The card in the Higher Power position reflects the broader perspective and influence of your conscience, Guardian Angel, inner wisdom.

When Judgment presents in this position, you and others like you are called from your ordinary lives to enact a self-transformation that will epitomize the spirit of your times. It could bring no attention to your ego at all because it may be accomplished anonymously or collectively. It is felt in every fiber of your interior life.

This awakening begins an entirely new cycle of possibilities and wipes away old failures, anger and doubt. It starts you fresh with a new goal, a new purpose and a new set of resources to work with. In truth, this newness is not unique at all, but stimulates ancient, submerged aspects of yourself that you have possessed all along but have not been able to access. When this force is engaged, you are actually more your real self than you have ever been before.

Near Future: The Devil


If you have the nerve and stamina to keep up with your own raw energy, your future horizons will change drastically. But things may be disrupted, so consider well the implications before you go for it.

The card in the Near Future position indicates which way the wind is blowing with regard to your situation. If you follow the Advice card, however, you can improve on or neutralize tendencies.

The Devil card in this position suggests that you are about to confront a force of nature that is gutsy and powerfully compelling. For that reason it is both attractive and repellent at the same time. It could represent hidden potentials within you, and appear as a dynamic person, group or organization. However it appears, this force occupies its space and yours in a passionate and concentrated way, forcing everyone who encounters it to respond in kind.

This creative, chaotic phenomenon may be offering to let you join it, direct it and point it towards a good use. But to succeed, you may have to possess the internal fortitude to hold this phenomenal beast, and yourself, in check through delicate maneuvers. You cannot really work with this energy and be inhibited, rigid or controlling because it's bigger than you imagine. You will be forced to grow super-fast to keep from being overwhelmed by the energies unleashed.

Take a long, close look at yourself and the situation or relationship before you decide if you can afford it. A circumstance characterized by The Devil can radically transform your life, even when you promise yourself you'll only get involved a little, just this once, just to find out what it's like. If you don't know yourself well, and don't have a healthy respect for your natural limits, the Devil may be a very damaging playmate.

Blocks & Inhibitions: King of Wands


Defend your confidence and optimism from negative self talk and critical thoughts.

The card in the Blocks position points to self-undermining tendencies, areas where you could be in denial, where you could get stuck -- unless you examine yourself and make some corrections.

When the King of Wands falls in this position, internalized authority figures are bound and determined to diminish a performance, demean you and create insecurity about accomplishments. Under the circumstances, when you become aware of those sabotaging monologues, turn down the volume or refuse to listen.

Determination followed by action is needed, not emotional dawdling. Being decisive may feel unfamiliar at first, but action itself can be the cure for too much thinking. Failure to act when action is called for is definitely detrimental.

Allies: Queen of Swords


Great intelligence and insight are joining your cause.

The card in the Allies position points to people who can be supportive or helpful to you at this time.

In this position, the Queen of Swords suggests that a canny, articulate and mentally imposing person is joining your team. This queen represents the most intelligent personality of the Tarot's Minor Arcana. This is someone who thinks holistically, does not overpersonalize, understands the effects of time and penetrates deeply.

This queen is traditionally thought of as the therapist of the Minors. You may be somewhat awed by this person -- and rightly so, because this is a warrior of the mind, and he or she is now your ally! This gives you a tremendous opportunity not only to get some issues resolved but also to observe a master at work. Watch closely to see if you can assimilate some of her style.

Advice: Eight of Swords


Rise to the occasion with confidence in your talent and ability.

The card in the Advice position suggests a course of action which will harmonize what you want with what is currently possible.

With the Eight of Swords in this position, you are being reminded that every setback you experience is a teacher awakening you to renewed effort. This is a learn-by-doing situation; there is no formula that guarantees outcome. You can be sure, however, that an open-minded and optimistic attitude will serve you better in the face of surprising developments.

Be willing to make the rigorous effort that is being called for now. Perform wholeheartedly, with good faith and hopefulness. As such, you'll forestall bickering and criticism, prevail against negative forces and overcome the demons of doubt and resistance. Get excited about your challenges; be confident that you have what it takes to improve the situation. If you do your internal homework, the external situation will open up for you.

Long-term Potential: Page of Cups


If things are left to develop on their own, you may land an important supporting role.

The card in the Long-term Potential position points to unknowns still taking shape. It is the "wild card" yet to be played.

With the Page of Cups (in some decks, a Princess) in this position, you may remain in the background as things develop, serving as a secretary, assistant or confidant for someone or some group in power.

Not everyone is psychologically suited for this role. Examine the opportunity carefully, asking yourself if you are willing to be of service on this level. Perhaps you have leadership aspirations of your own right now. You will be happier with whatever role you choose and your contributions if you are realistic and honest with yourself.

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Lots and lots going on!  Too busy sometimes, but at least I'm having fun even if spread too thin. In addition to other areas, I'm really behind in all that I have to post.  I've yet to tackle my 'pet' area ~ Considerations & Perspectives to stretch your mind ~ 2
You may want to check out all the title buttons as many of these articles cross/address several 'subjects'. I've not been able to keep clear lines as defined as I'd like. Depending on what your particular interest is, you will find related articles scattered throughout, so check them all so you don't miss something that may be worth your while. In particulary, the Friends, Friendship, Relationships thread is full of crossovers.
I think I've found a way to get directly to any new topic from here. You'll notice that as your mouse passes over the title names, an underline will appear showing that it's an active link. Click on it and you should be able to go directly to the proper area.
* An interesting look at Soul Mates via a post I made on a message board a few years ago can be found here ~ Metaphysical Points of View ~ 2
* An article called Emotional Affairs- Infidelity?  & others added to ~  Internet relationships ~ 2
* An interesting article with some good insights - a personal accounting of Relationships & Love (not written by me) by a thoughtful young man ~ Things to try ~ Things to learn ~ Ways of Looking at Things ~ 2
* Many articles added to ~  Friends & Friendship ~ Relationships ~ 2
* Many articles added to ~   Healing, Forgiveness, Moving on ~ 2
* Many articles added to ~  Letting go is a decision ~ 2
* Many article added to ~  How & When & Why ~ 2
* Many articles added to  ~ Healing, Forgiveness, Moving on ~ 2
* Approx. 125 new links added ~ LINKS ~ 2
* 47 Tests have been added to ~ TESTS - QUIZES TO TAKE ~ 2
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I'm back from a long & wonderful holiday in the SW with another event coming up in mid February. Tonight is the eve of a new year and I'm full of optimisim. Typically, we are staying home as I've never enjoyed "New Years Eve' as an away from home celebration...not to mention the mild case of jet lag due to the odd flight times we had to and fro and the light snow that is falling.  :)
* MANY articles added to 'Trust'
* MANY articles added to ''Expectations-Boundaries-Accountability & Anger'   
* MANY articles added to ' Healing, Forgiveness, Moving on.
* MANY articles added to 'Friends & Friendship ~ Relationships'
* MANY articles added to 'How, when & why"
* Added to 'Metaphysical point of view'
* Added to 'Things to try- ways of looking at things'
* Added to 'Letting go is a decision'
* MANY articles added to ' When It's Finally Over ~..OR..~ When it's Over, Finally !'
* Added topic button for 'Considerations & Perspectives to stretch your mind' - (no articles yet)
* Added to 'Toxic Relationships & Personality Disorders.
**Note: For some reason, the links to and from parts 1 & 2 don't work consistantly - especially with IE. Simply copy the URL's and paste them into your browser.
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Today is my first borns birthday and the opening of Part 2 of my project.
A poll has been added & can be accessed using the POLL button on the left. I will really appreciate your completing this for me.
2 more pieces of music have been added. If I had more room, I'd have a lot more variety. This way is best though - if I had more bytes, I'd be turning this project into an .mp3 swap!!
I'm going to start adding more content hoping that Lycos is finished 'having their way with me'.
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* Many articles added to FRIENDSHIP
* Link added to LINKS
* Added to 'How, when & why"
* Added to "Expectations-Boundaries-Accountability & Anger   
After this update, all new updates will be found posted ahead of this one ( and before the last one.) You won't have to scroll down to read the most recent.

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