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When It's Finally Over ~..OR..~ When it's Over, Finally ! ~ 2
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Metaphysical Points of View ~ 2



1. Building Trust in Relationships - Relationship Problems on Control

2. Thoughts on Passion

3. Soul Mates (an interesting excerpt from a posting I made a few years ago)


5.  5 of Cups .. just4fun

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 Love and Relationship Articles Based on our Definition of Metaphysics

The process of finding your soulmate or maintaining soulmate and love relationships is described via dozens of articles on love and relationships that take a deep, but easily understandable, metaphysical approach to a delicate subject matter that is often discussed on a very superficial level. Great relationship advice for mending, repairing, and fixing relationships.

Home > Love and Relationship Articles based on Metaphysics

Building Trust in Relationships - Relationship Problems on Control

The element of control in a romantic relationship is an insidious thing, and causes many relationship problems. Although, it is widely practiced by both sexes. A relationship which truly comes from the heart cannot survive control issues and it tears away at trust. Weekly I get a variety of emails which ask, "How can I make him/her...". "Making" someone you supposedly love do or be anything isn't part of the picture, and in fact isn't love at all. How can you expect your partners to trust one another when is is trying to contol the other. It's an effort to control something that one doesn't find lovable at all.

I also receive a variety of reasons why it's acceptable to want to change a partner's actions or demeanor in some way, for their own good, of course. Since this is a spiritually oriented site, these reasons are usually explained in terms of the unfortunate partner's lack of awareness of the "truth". I see this perception as spiritual arrogance.

Metaphysically speaking, we are each responsible for our own choices whether we are consciously aware of these choices or not. If we love "A" about our partner but detest "B", that is our choice. Many years ago Terry Cole Whittacker wrote a book with a charming title, What You Think of Me is None of My Business". We may judge the behavior of another in any way that we choose to, but spiritual law carries penalties for trying to enforce our opinions on them. At best, our efforts to change the other rarely work. At worst, it will cause a lot of relationship problems and the partnership may be destroyed.

There is something we can do however, which evades these penalties. It's called an "open-ended treatment". In this sort of metaphysical treatment we connect with our Higher Power and affirm resolution of the situation. We choose to know that the problem is resolved in whatever way is best for everyone concerned. What is important here is to truly keep it open-ended. The highest resolution of the situation could after all, include you releasing the need to change the other person! Perhaps there's a change waiting to happen within you that would serve the situation much better.

This kind of metaphysical treatment provides an overview, pulling one out of their prejudices about the matter and turns over the power to something objective and caring about the well-being of all. If you find it difficult to do this, that is your indication that an effort to control is occurring, and not love. Remember, you didn't choose to love a carbon copy of yourself, but a live human being with distinct needs and wants of their own.

If you really want to lesson problems in your relationship and build trust with your partner then let go of a need to control and find ways to be supportive of one another.

Famous Quotes: CHARACTER

"No change of circumstances can repair a defect of character."

--Ralph Waldo Emerson

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 Thoughts on Passion
By Jonathan Kraft
I make a distinction between passion of the body and passion of the spirit, but they must coexist, and must operate within the understanding of one another.

I could never be passionate (romantically) with someone who I did not feel love for. Love is of the spirit much more so than it is of the body. Love is primarily spiritual because the feelings we receive with love are just beyond what our physical senses bring to us.

I can not be romantically physically passionate in the absence of love.

I can also not be spiritually passionate towards a cause or an aim without a demonstration to myself and to others of that passion in a physical manner.

Spiritual passion is only fully realized when accompanied by some physical action.

What is more difficult to appreciate and live out is that if spiritual passion is only fully realized when accompanied by some physical action, then physical action can also only be fully realized when accompanied by a spiritual aim.

Love is greater than the spirit and the body.

Love is the spirit and the body, until we try to make it otherwise.

This is why Jesus had to die in physicality – and in rising again, the physical body was gone with the spiritual.

Jesus had to become human so that we would know that God understands our human physical state. Otherwise, why would Jesus have become human?

Spiritual movement and physical movement should both be guided by the greater, love.

We must learn to make our physical movement an act of spiritual passion.

We must learn to make our spiritual passion real though our physical action.

We can not deny the spiritual, we can not deny the physical.

The physical, the temporal, where we live now, must be used, for it is our training ground.

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Many years ago, the topic of soul mates was introduced on a board I frequented. I've taken an excerpt from those posts to include on this site. I've changed the names of the others, but have left my name in tact.
Finding your 'soulmate' may not be what you would expect. Many feel that in finding their soulmate, that relationships and life will be just wonderful and perfect forever more... not so I say.
I've had a few people touch my life that I have considered to be as close as a soulmate could be. For me, these encounters have resulted in waters being stirred as never before creating major ebbs and flows, uncertainties, frustrations, and more.
So far, it seems my experiences with soulmates is to be a temporary situation - in that they are only in my life for a period of time and then the relationship changes (or ceases to be). Mostly, it seems that after 'the work' has been done, we simply and gently (mostly) fade away from each other as we progress into different aspects of our lives.
One thing is for sure though..when you have a 'soulmate' relationship, you KNOW, WITHOUT a doubt, that something very special and important has taken place and you can expect to have some major changes in your thinking and beliefs as a result of the experience.  PDPJ
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 About the soulmates:  
on 10/31/03 at 23:21:36, SALLY wrote:I personally believe that all souls seek balance.  But each person, being imperfect as we are, has areas of weakness and issues that have not been dealt with fully.  That's part of life.    
I think it mostly comes down to a type of energetic mathematics.  If you have too many or too deep weak spots and imbalances in yourself, then it tends to lead to desperation and clinginess to get those holes filled and that reflects in the relationship with others.  THe relationship will reflect the extreme imbalance and so will probably also be imbalanced.    
If someone fills a deep weakness of yours, then you might find it difficult to leave, even if the person has bad traits.  And I think the more that person's psyche fills in issues with your psyche, the more that person will feel like a soul mate.  Cuz in a way that will be true.  
BRUCE said: I remember reading somewhere that encountering a true soulmate is not the blissful, joyous experience we expect, that a true soulmate would push all your buttons, bring up all your issues, just by their presence.  That makes some sense to me.  A person in your soul group could just as easily be your worst enemy as your best friend.  
Personally, I've always felt like I am basically alone here in this lifetime, not here to hook up with anyone        

 THIS IS MY POSTING COMMENTARY ~  on 10/31/03 at 23:21:36,

I remember when I realized that I 'was alone' in this world...just about knocked me over    then I got over it and took it as the gift it was...but it took a while to see this as 'a gift'...I needed lots of probing into this one but here is one of the few things I found ~
Not speaking on a spiritual level...yet, I believe we are ALL alone in everyday life...this trip is ours alone to walk as we will, however that may be. If you believe in souls, then it isn't a stretch to believe that we are all, at all times, in a process of evolving...both personally as well as humankind. We all have our weakness and our strengths. Our stronger aspects helps those with the weaker aspects of themselves...(as SALLY said...balance..) we in turn are helped by those who are stronger in our weaker areas. This is man helping perpetuate man...this is the broad spectrum of love of mankind. No man is meant to be an island unto themselves. BUT, in the end, the walk is ours, the soul searching of self is ours, the personal rewards of deep digging and painful progress are ours and for those with 'faith' and believing in spirit guides,  they are being helped by their guides.  
However, along the way, we meet others...some for a short time, some for a longer time and others for a lifetime. If we pay attention, we will see that all those who come into our orbit are there FOR US..and we for them. Some will teach us, some will guide us, some will humble us, some will share pain with us, some will love us  and while these elements are being shared, not all will go smoothly, not all will be painless, not all will seem loving at the time. We in turn do the same for them and on and on it helping and loving man.  
What is liberating, as BRUCE is finding out, is that in knowing we are alone, we have freedoms, most likely not previously considered...and with the freedoms come responsibility and accountability of self to self. Not one of us should rely on another to live our lives for our life is our personal job...nor should we try to live another's life- that's their job. What we do, as individuals,  is provide the balance that makes all this possible for the other. And then..... then....
every once in a while, along comes that person that just stands out as being more special than anyone else so far...this is the person that makes our hearts sings, that lights our fires, that makes us wake up and smell the roses...they also can make us hurt like no one else before, they sure do know how to and do 'push our buttons' (which is usually just what we need at the time), they push us to our limits, they grow us, they encourage us, they love us, they help us.  Is this a soul mate??  I have no idea...I don't even know if I believe in soul mates per se..but I do know this much...when one of these people comes into your life, cherish them. I've yet not to be better off for having such a person in my life...regardless of the length of time.
I have been lucky enough to have several of really important people in my life...those who have really made a difference, those who have really cared, most are gone now, a few have remained and a few have been added. For those who have gone on and not necessarily in death,or for those relationships that have changed from one thing into another,  there remains a connection unlike all's really, really special and it's feels eternal.
...and yes, I agree that these 'special' people can also seem to be/or are our worst enemy ( seemingly ) all depends on what it is that our souls are needing when they enter our lives...and it all depends on what our souls need that determines how long they stay with us...keeping in mind that it's always a 2 way process... as they leave us, we also are leaving them... as we leave them, they are leaving just takes a while for this awareness to sink in...usually in hindsight.
Darn,  I've just been interrupted 3 times  in the pasts 5 minutes and I've lost my train of thought.... (don't all cheer and clap your hands at once   )
so, looks like I'm finished....LOL
taking my soapbox down and exiting stage left......
 on 01/03/04 at 06:36:47, BRUCE also wrote:I'm in the process of adjusting.  I don't have to allow this feeling to consume me or control me.  You're right, it is liberating, in that I can see now how this sense of loss has played out in my life to this point, and I now can free myself from the habitual patterns it's generated (I hope).
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Our 21st-Century technology is the latest generation in energetic medicine. Our new approach to health is based on the principles of BioPhysics and Quantum Physics.

The new field of energetic medicine is a sophisticated, intelligent way of viewing health and correcting depression based on quantum physics. 

According to the principles of energetic medicine, the body's mental well-being depends on information fields on the energetic or quantum field level. These information fields are an active, creative force, intimately involved in the form and manifestation of one's state of health—physically, mentally and emotionally. When we examine the body's health through the viewpoint of the energetic body, we are able to assess the correct informational fields which produce emotional well being. And we can also detect disturbed informational fields which produce mental or emotional lows or dysfunctional patterns which we refer to as depression. 

According to energetic medicine, any form of depression can be redefined as an imbalance arising in the informational energy field.  In simple terms, depression is a glitch in the programming of one's informational field. The correction of this depression can be accomplished by correcting these disturbances, which can then eliminate the disharmony and the dysfunctional patterning of the depression, to restore mental and emotional well being. Energetic medicine, by rebalancing the body and mind, enables the body and mind to heal itself, naturally. 

So that this does not seem overly simplified, energetic medicine simultaneously addresses several other important aspects of the human system. This includes Bioresonance that helps to clear disharmonious frequencies from the body.  It includes the electrical properties of the body such as the Auto VARHOPE balancing of the body's electrical fields, scaler technology which helps to balance the endocrine glands, and trivector therapy  which balances the energy fields. There are twelve basic areas of balancing as part of the basic healing equation. 

Energetic medicine makes use of natural processes for rebalancing the system. One of the initial assessments for our clients who need help with depression is to do an overview of lifestyle and eating habits. We do an assessment that shows what nutrients are missing that may be affecting mood and mental outlook. The cycle of stress and vitamin depletion needs to be checked out. Also, many individuals with depression difficulties may be taking minerals and vitamins but may not be absorbing them. We need to address this. 

Oftentimes, human systems in today's world are suffering from overload. Not only poor eating habits but pollution of air, water supply, electro-pollution, high levels of sugar in the diet, over-activity, over-stimulation, caffeine, alcohol, not to mention money and relationship worries that may all contribute to depression.  

Next we usually check the neurotransmitters in the brain to see what is out of balance. We are able to balance the high and the low neurotransmitters. We are able to energetically boost neurotransmitters that are in low supply. This often helps to start lifting the depression fog. 

Then we work on neuro-linguistic programming to retrain the brain to healthy thinking patterns. Some of our energetic reprogramming for depression includes Release of false illusions, Anger control 1 & 2 (for slight or deep anger), Restoration of positive self image, Depression release, Letting go of self-aggression, Stopping addictive behavior, Release of negativity, Dissolving fear and paranoia, Stimulating emotional growth, Stimulating memory (storage, retention, retrieval), and Stimulating insight and intelligence. 

All of this patterning reprogramming is chosen by the client's subconscious in the degree and order they need to be addressed.  Our energetic process is calibrated with the client's subconscious on 20 different levels. (See the section under Energetic Medicine.) Our systems have an alarm reaction so that if the client becomes in any way stressed, the program stops and relaxation biofeedback puts them back in a receptive, relaxed frame of mind again. 

Additional programs include Obsession release (to reduce worry and anxiety), Schizophrenic reunion to self, Reprogramming of karma, Stimulation of creativity, Higher purpose alignment for accelerating spiritual growth, Stimulation of innate intelligence, and Stimulation of verbal, emotional and mathematical intelligence. Our programs also address Joining of the hemispheres of the brain to know one's true self, Reduction of the death instinct of self-destruction, Stabilizing love, Reducing frustration, Grief assistance, Reducing sadness, Stabilization mood disorders, and Building up of self confidence. 

One of our Quantum programs that is particularly valuable is called Unconscious Reactivity. In this program we address fears, traumas and frustrations from the past. Working with the client's subconscious we are able to deal with a particular traumatic situation that may be an underlying disturbance adding to depression. Our Quantum system, taking its lead from the client's subconscious, delineates the years that the trauma escalated, from gestation through to present, along with the underlying cause of the trauma, the part of the body system where the trauma is trapped, along with the various organs affected by the trauma. Then the program is able to help dissolve the trauma on the organic, cellular and emotional levels. The program deeply interfaces with the forgiveness and letting go process, and has helped hundreds and hundreds of people. 

As if this was not enough, our Quantum Distance Program for Depression addresses an entire other level of Biofeedback programs. Some of those programs include: Releasing subconscious negativity, Balancing the conscious with the subconscious, Emotional release, Balancing bipolar depression, Releasing emotional and physical trauma, Releasing psycho-somatic disorders, Tuning brain function, Re-establishing the body to soul connection, Stimulation of oxygen to the brain, Aggression release, Reducing stress in spine and nerves, Releasing psychic pain and releasing phobias. Our programs can also help to improve Learning disabilities and to Release one's deep potential to succeed. For clients with migraines, we are able to help them by balancing both hemispheres of the brain through Harmonic Therapy. 

There are many psychologists and psychiatrists who use our systems. Quantum Wellness is a training center for energetic medicine and people come from all around the world to learn how to help others through energetic medicine.

Energetic Medicine     Distance Healing     Emotional Aspect of Healing

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Five of Cups


The Five of Cups is a card that signifies difficulty, loss, and the challenges of dealing with that loss. The figure in the card wears a black cloak in which he hides his face in apparent despair. At his feet are five cups, three of which have fallen and spilled onto the ground and the other two behind his back which remain standing. Ahead of him a powerful river flows between himself and a castle or home in the distance. To his right is a bridge which can lead him to the security of the house across the river. Despite the fact that this card has a strong indication of loss and tribulation, there is a positive aspect that must be considered. Is your cup half full or half empty?


The Five of Cups represent unfulfillment or non-attainment of expected results. You may lose something, though it is insignificant in itself. Perhaps relations with friends or lovers have weak foundations. You'll be completely burned out and will want to quit or give up. You've done enough and won't want to do anymore. You and a relative (or very dear friend) will soon part, and you will be very sad. You want a friend or lover to return, or a REAL relationship based on tenderness and mutual enchantment. Nothing less. Something will replace or sublimate the emptiness you feel.

The Five of Cups is about loss. On this card, we see a figure draped in black and covered in grief. He dominates the card so much that it is hard to look beyond him. The Five of Cups refers to that time when the pain of a loss is most acute. This man is looking only at the over-turned cups in front of him. For now, he cannot acknowledge the two cups that are still standing. Later, when he has healed somewhat, he will be able to see all that remains.

In readings, the Five of Cups can alert you to the possibility of a loss and its associated emotions - sorrow, regret, denial. The loss could be great or small. It could be tangible (money, possession, relationship, work), or intangible (dream, opportunity, prospect, reputation). You may already know what this card represents, but, if not, use it as a warning to help you avoid a loss, or at least reduce its toll.

You may feel discouraged by this card, but it does have a positive side. Every loss opens new possibilities for growth because every loss initiates change. Loss hurts because it is our emotional resistance to change. No matter how much we accept intellectually that we must go with the flow, if that flow separates us from what we love, our feelings say, "No!"

In a story from Zen Flesh, Zen Bones, the master Hakuin is falsely accused of fathering a child. His reputation in the village is ruined, but he accepts this loss and takes tender care of the child for a year. Suddenly, the real father appears, and Hakuin willingly yields the child to its parents, accepting loss again. We who are not Zen masters may not flow quite so lightly with events, but we can learn from this story. The more we struggle to hold on to what is gone, the more we suffer.

Sorrow, loss of a loved one. Marriage is on verge of breaking up. Disillusionment with life. Possible inheritance, but not as much as expected.

This card pertained to "crying over spilled milk" and pessimism about the future. It often refers to a person who is having difficulty letting go of the past and benefiting from past mistakes. The water spilled from the cups shows that the cause for regret is more emotional than financial. Often, this card relates to a person who habitually dwells on the past, harboring old grievances. Forgiveness and the ability to recover after emotional loss are necessary. Bitter memories from the past continue to obsess this person. Often a great deal of the blame for past actions is placed on himself.

Advise the client to let bygones be bygones. Tell him that hindsight is much clearer than foresight and present-day wisdom is gained from the mistakes of the past. If he can understand that all parties involved were doing the best they could with their awareness at the time, he can forgive himself.

Emotional disappointment, (also in friendship) depression, anger (usually based on past experiences) - all exaggerated. Deep regrets, temporary delay. Loss of harmony, but love is still there. An unexpected reaction to Querent. Loss of relationship, hurt. Card urges you to stop crying and look in another direction for happiness. Get over hurt, and then pick up remaining cups and carry on.

Disappointment. You need to understand rejection and disappointment. You may feel that you must walk away from someone or something. Realize the ways your disappointment gains you experience that can help to ensure future success.


Return of hope, new alliances formed. Loved one could be returning to you. Summon up that courage.

The reversed position shows recovery from regret and an acceptance of the past. Now, the person realizes the full implications of the past and appreciates the lessons he learned from the experience. He may even recognize the value of the painful experience in the broader scheme of things in preparing him for later experiences. He is ready to pick up the remaining two cups that are full of the water of emotional growth and go on.

This card is about learning to be open and starting to take risks again. It is a card of a lingering sense of regret, nostalgia and bittersweet memories, but the card itself speaks of being hopeful for the future, getting over whatever you need to get over, and of seeing the sun peek through the clouds once again! If you have suffered a broken romance or marriage, this card signifies an end to the suffering, and a beginning to new loves and relationships, new interests, and new emotional outlets. You are starting to engage with the inspiring, creative and feeling side of life again.


Pluck a rose and carry it to a garden or patch of earth at midnight. Dig a small hole. Say these words five times, "Grief be gone, heart be healed, For all my sorrows buried here." Bury the rose and walk away and don't look back.

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